Things That Gross Me Out

Today, my main man, Alex, and I went to the dump to get rid of a bunch of junk.
The smell there was hideous. And it reminded me of all the things that gross me out.
They are listed below, in no particular order. And I'm not numbering them because, truthfully, they all gross me out equally the same. I'm throwing up in my mouth a little bit just thinking about this list. Sorry if this post makes you sick when you read it.

The list of things that gross me out:
Blobs of toothpaste in the sink
Hair in the shower drain
The smell at the dump (especially in the summer - HOOOOO--ey!)
Children who should be potty-trained, but aren't
Mealy apples
Expired milk products of any kind (this means even one day past the expiration date)
Spills in the fridge
Snot-nosed kids (also on the "Things I Hate" list)
Moldy cheese
Butt cracks hanging out of pants - it's just SO wrong
Seeing a girl's bra or straps out of her shirt - who really likes that?
Canned dog food - not just the smell, but the sound it makes coming out of the can
Other people's vomit
Bratwurst, but only because my cousin puked one up in Germany
Sushi - raw WHAT? I don't think so ....
Body odor (also on the list of "Things I Hate")
Unbrushed and unflossed teeth (I'm talking about my own here)
Stuff stuck in my teeth - just tell me, okay?
The smell of cow manure, especially on the morning drive to work
Worms
Dead things
The smell of the water when flowers have wilted and died
Slimy lunch meat
Miracle Whip - the "Tangy Zip" doesn't help
Greasy hair
Wet, dirty laundry
Flies in the garbage
Port-O-Potties
Camping (because I MUST have a real toilet and shower)
Cleaning the toilet - thank heavens for Clorox tabs!
Loogies or gum on the sidewalk or pavement
People who constantly suck their snot instead of blowing their frickin nose
The look of Spam (it's something about the square "can" it's in)
The sound of potato salad being mixed and other weird food noises

That's enough for now. I don't feel well. This post has taken a lot out of me, and I think I need to lie down for a bit. And brush my teeth so I can get that little bit of throw up taste out of my mouth. Let's hope no blobs of toothpaste fall in the sink while brushing. I also feel the need to shower for an excessively long time. Alex thinks we might have collected some Hepatitis while we were at the dump. If you don't see me at church tomorrow, call the paramedics. Let them know I was exposed. Thanks!