What?!

My semi-annual teeth cleaning appointment was today. (Allow me to preface that with the disgusting admission that I had not been to a dentist in over a decade prior to February of this year because my old dentist really freaked me out and his hygienist was - nicely put - rough on my mouth. I mean, if you're gums bleed for a week, and it hurts to floss or brush or CHEW, you'd have a hard time going back, too.) 

Anyway, there are no cavities (thanks, Dad, for giving me your good teeth!) and the hygienist says I'm doing a great job flossing and brushing. She made me laugh by telling horror stories about patients who never brushed and expected a cleaning to make their teeth perfectly white and gorgeous. It was a nice visit. 

Then, she tells me my insurance covers fluoride treatments, so she'll do that today as well. Great! And then my brain recalls my last fluoride treatment with Miss Meanypants and I start to squirm a little. I'm gearing up for that big wad of goo they put in your mouth that takes two weeks to rinse completely out. To my relief, she explains they do fluoride differently now. It's like a "paint" they cover your teeth with, it feels a little grainy, but smooths out within a day and then you're good. Phew! Gag fest averted!!! 

She starts "painting" my teeth and then says: "Now, you should avoid eating anything rough, chewy, or sticky. No carrots, chips, or gum today. You can eat whatever you want tomorrow though. Oh, and one other thing. Don't floss OR brush tonight. It will take the fluoride off your teeth. So wait until tomorrow morning to brush again, and make sure to do it a little more gently than you normally do."

WHAT?! I can't floss my teeth tonight?! I can't brush my teeth tonight?! Ew!!! We just got through talking about how gross some people's mouth habits are and you want me to NOT floss or brush?! I am ANAL about flossing and brushing my teeth. Every night. It's part of my bedtime routine. I'm already grossed out about what my mouth is going to feel (and taste!) like when I wake up tomorrow. This is not happiness, people! So much for smiling with nice, clean teeth ....